Because I specialize in male sexual difficulties, one issue men often come to me for is ejaculation control related issues. Many men are confused about premature ejaculation (aka early ejaculation) and ejaculation control, terms that are bunched together but actually indicate different concerns. I’ll explain the difference: if you are ejaculating before your clothes come off or before penetration happens or right after penetration or pleasure (hand job, blow job) begins, then you might be experiencing premature ejaculation. If you can last a while but are not certain when you will ejaculate, then you are experiencing ejaculation control issues.
Some men believe something is wrong with them if they are not able to last 30 minutes at a high-level of friction (similar to porn) and then ejaculate on command. I describe this idea like going to the gym, going to the cardio section, and then setting the treadmill at the fastest speed and highest incline. What happens? The average person will fall down after a few minutes from exhaustion. Similar to what you cock does; it releases and then falls down.
The authors of this Brown University article on premature ejaculation describe it as ejaculating earlier than you or your partner would like on most occasions within realistic expectations of stamina. The average time that penetration intercourse lasts is three minutes. This time is from insertion to ejaculation. In my opinion, this is why God designed fingers and man invented dildos.
If you are anxious and stuck in your head about what your partner thinks of you or how you are going to perform or “control yourself this time,” chances are you are not enjoying yourself. Worrying about control issues and confidence should not be what your sexual experiences about.
Another myth guys often believe is that they should have 100 percent control over their ejaculations. In reality, men can expect to have between 75 to 80 percent control of their ejaculation. Meaning, most of the time you will be able to control when you ejaculate and some of the time you might not be able to. This does not make you abnormal or unlovable. It makes you normal, just like all the other guys in the world. Try not to get caught up in the times when you cannot control and relish in the times when you can.
If you are curious to know more about controlling your ejaculation, check out my other post.
Thumbnail image via American Pie © Universal Pictures
Check out our Overcoming Premature Ejaculation audio course here!