1. Relationships are what you put into them.
2. Everyone loses when love and sex are treated like a game.
3. If you have your guard up in the beginning and then suddenly lower it, don’t wonder why the other person is running hot and cold – they met one person and now you’re showing them another.
4. Jealousy is not a feeling. It is a secondary response to an underlying insecurity.
5. Never date a narcissist, they are black holes. You cannot inspire them to change, no one can.
6. Feminism isn’t about promoting promiscuity, it’s about being able to make your own choice and respecting the choices that others make.
7. Investing in your romantic life and future is just as important as investing in your career and financial future. Don’t wake up at 40 feeling empty. Warm relationships, it turns out, will make you more money and equal more happiness in the long-run.
8. Nobody wants someone that seems desperate. Get a hobby.
9. The relationship you have with your body is important. You’ve only got one, treat it well.
10. 1 out of 2 people will get an STD in their lifetime, most will be under age 25.
11. “There are no ugly women, only lazy ones.” – Helena Rubinstein
Men like women in all shapes and sizes, but mostly they like happy, healthy ones. Don’t waste your time trying to be something you’re not, and don’t develop ugly attitudes because you are not happy with who you are, instead put your efforts into personal growth and be the best you that you can be.
12. Those sexy selfies can still haunt you even if you’re not going into politics.
13. Alcohol, excluding whiskey, and weed kill erections.
14. Porn is not real sex, porn is entertainment.
15. If the person you’re dating doesn’t have any same-sex friends, they are going to eventually rely on you to meet all their needs. Translation: not relationship material. Expect your relationship to meet 80% your needs, the other 20% you have to fill yourself.
16. It’s not about being right; argue like you’re a third party that wants the best for everyone.
17. Always be direct and honest. Vulnerability is sexy.
18. Shyness in kids is cute. Shyness in adults comes across as cold and disinterested; smiling is important.
19. Take time between relationships to heal and grow yourself. Your rebound isn’t going to show you something you cannot find. And when you discover it on your own, no one can take it from you.
20. Nobody’s perfect. NOBODY.
21. If you want your partner to see you as a sexual being for years to come, a little mystery can go a long way (i.e. go fart in another room, shut the door when you use the bathroom). Just look at any divorced person’s list of advice. Everyone shits, but your partner doesn’t need to see and smell yours.
22. If you cannot say “no,” you can never really say “yes.” Knowing what you want and what your boundaries are will make all your relationships more satisfying.
23. If you just put someone in the friend zone, give them space, and then support them and help their approach with someone else when the time is right.
24. Not all relationships are meant to last a lifetime, and that doesn’t mean they were not successful.
25. Women learn to withhold sex early in life, so don’t give them a reason to need to withhold (i.e. women learn they are the gatekeepers of sex and therefore it is their bargaining chip. Talk about power dynamics early on and share how feeling powerless affects the relationship on both sides). Same thing goes for men and finances.
26. Not only women love to hear how beautiful they are. Men don’t get enough compliments!
27. There is so much more to sex than orgasm.
28. No person’s pleasure is more important than the other’s.
29. Foreplay is good for everyone. Women usually take longer to feel ready for sex than men do, but everyone’s sensations will be more intense if you start off with massage or another arousing activity.
30. The penis has it’s own intelligence.
31. Learn how to take rejection, taking a risk on love is never a mistake.
32. Do not date your friend’s ex without their permission.
33. “A mans sexual choice is the result and sum of his fundamental convictions. Tell me what a man finds a sexually attractive and I will tell you his entire philosophy of life. Show me the woman he sleeps with and I will tell you his valuation of himself……. [Intimacy] is an act that forces him to stand naked in spirit, as well as in body, and to accept his real ego as his standard of value. He will always be attracted to the woman who reflects his deepest vision of himself, the woman whose surrender permits him to experience – or to fake-a sense of self esteem. The man who is proudly certain of his own value, will want the highest type of women he can find, the women he admires, the strongest, the hardest to conquer – because only the possession of a heroine will give him the sense of an achievement.” – Ayn Rand
34. If you can’t trust them, you shouldn’t be intimate with them.
35. Convention is for the conventional; you and your partner make your own rules about how you want your relationship to work.
36. Some fantasies are better left fantasies. Some are not.
37. Every woman should own a Hitachi Magic Wand.
38. When you’re looking for the one, throw away your long lists and focus on the essential qualities you want in a partner.
39. Always consider the scenario from the other end of the table. Men don’t realize how uncomfortable they can make women when they haven’t made it clear what their intentions are or whether it’s a date or just a friendly meet-up. Women want to have a sense of what things mean and what you want from them, otherwise they will be preoccupied and have their guard up.
Women on dates need to find a balance somewhere between totally passive and dominating the conversation. Many women don’t realize how boring they can be on dates while simultaneously expecting the man to cater to them by keeping the conversation going and paying for dinner. Other women need to take it down a few notches, ask thoughtful questions, and listen.
40. Once a cheater always a cheater may be true most of the time, but people can and do change. Don’t hold people’s pasts against them.
41. One of the reasons why women are less interested in casual encounters is because they are less likely to achieve the same level of sexual satisfaction or orgasm. For women, arousal is usually a lot easier when there is a connection and context.
42. Unless you don’t want a relationship either, stay away from Peter Pan types, they will only grow up when they want to. Some never do.
43. Being alone is better than settling for a mediocre relationship. Take yourself out to dinner if you’re feeling lonely.
44. Have standards. Know them, keep them.
45. Though most of us assume men always have a higher sex drive, some women naturally have a high libido and some men naturally have a low libido.
46. Not very many people are afraid of intimacy itself, rather they are afraid of challenge to their self-centeredness that relationships require. The real fear behind the fear of intimacy is the fear of looking inward critically.
47. Words have their place in a relationship but people’s true colors come out through their actions, not their words. Love lives in the heart, not the brain.
48. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
49. Relationships sometimes need silence, give your partner space to be their own person with their own time when they need it.
50. Most often, sex early in a relationship complicates the dynamics. If you want a relationship, take the time to develop and establish an enduring foundation before you add another layer of complexity.
51. Communicate, communicate, communicate. Communicate your emotions and then some. Sharing who you really are is therapeutic and healing.
– Nikita & Keeley