How to Give a Great Blow Job

samantha sex and the city

Credit: HBO / Via idontevenlikecheese.tumblr.com

Fellatio… Welcome to our straight-forward guide to giving great head. No donuts, Pop Rocks, Altoids, whipped cream, chocolate syrup, ice cubes, blindfolds, or flavored lube necessary.

First things first, no need to hurry (lay off the speed)! Many people get hell-bent on getting that cock to shoot cum out as quickly as possible. We want to teach you how to give great pleasure, not just get someone off. No one likes to be touched with hands – or lips – in a hurry. Most men already know how to get themselves off as fast as they want through masturbation, so offer them something different. Offer them an experience of great pleasure, not just a trip up the arousal curve.

Oral sex is an extremely intimate act; you’re putting your face where you can see, smell, and taste everything. Before you start to move your mouth towards the cock, get in touch with your own pleasure and what about putting that cock in your mouth is going to turn you on. Being in touch with your own arousal during the experience is important because people can sense, consciously or subconsciously, if you are not into something. No one wants to feel like the pleasure they are receiving is coming from a person who is feeling disinterested, repulsed, or burdened. Plus we all seem to get more turned on the more turned on our partner is.

If you feel anxious for some reason, maybe it is your first time, let your partner know.  Say something like: “ I really want to put your cock in my mouth right now, and I am a little scared because I have never done this before.” or “I really want to feel my mouth on your cock and give you so much pleasure. I feel anxious about what you might like, if there is something that I do that you really like, let me know.” Also ask them if they like to sit, stand, or lie down while receiving. Maybe they’d like to shower first, too.

To warm up your man before touching his cock, try giving him a “full body sexy touch”; caress his back, legs, and rub his feet and head. There is a reason why there are so many “happy ending” massage parlors! A light massage will relax your man and give him a fresh mind set to become aroused. Staying connected with your own arousal, slowly start to move you way down the body. Do not worry if the cock you are going for is not hard yet, some cocks need a little more attention before they join the party. (Many men report enjoying touch on their cocks even if they are not erect.) As you move your mouth down the body, use your tongue and lips on places like the neck, nipples, armpits, and belly. Let your lovers’ arousal build as you move towards the pleasure zone.

Once you get down to the cock, there are thousand of options. You can put the cock right into your mouth of course, or you could take some more time teasing, kissing around his inner thighs and belly, licking up and down the cock like a popsicle, brushing the cock near your lips and on your cheeks, or anything to continue the teasing. You might need your hand at this point to help to guide the cock where you want it to be. You can do that by gripping the bottom of the penis right above where it meets his body.

Unless they prefer otherwise, use only your mouth at first to stimulate the head of the penis and as your lover’s arousal builds and/or your jaw starts to get tired begin to use your hand to add to the stimulation. You can use your other hand to cup or lightly massage his balls or grab his butt and pull him closer. Using lots of extra spit and synchronizing your hand and mouth movements increases the pleasure. Some men will like lots of heavy hand pressure, while others will like a lighter touch. Try experimenting with both to see what your lover wants. A fun trick with your hand is the ‘twist and shout’. As you move your hand up and down, you can twist your wrist. Often the change in pressure on the cock will send your lover to a higher level of arousal.

Some men will really love having their balls touched, licked, pulled away from the body, tickled with the palm of your hand or your fingertip, or just held. Don’t be afraid to let your free hand or hands wander around the rest of your lover’s body as your mouth takes them in. You may even lick down his penis and balls towards his asshole. As your lover gets harder, that is the indicator that you are moving up the arousal curve. If you notice a change in breath, the cocks gets harder and their balls start to get closer to the body, your lover is moving towards ejaculation. You get to make a choice; continue doing exactly what you are doing moving them to cum, or change something, like slowing down, changing the pressure, allowing them to stay in the high arousal for a bit longer or move up and down the arousal curve.

For a minute or two after he ejaculates, keep deeply sucking and slowly licking his cock, kind of like a warm-down. It will add another layer of pleasure. Decide beforehand whether you want to spit or swallow when he does finish; if you don’t wish to swallow be sure to have a couple of tissues or a glass close by the spit out the cum.

The cock is a very sensitive part of most men’s bodies. Unless they ask you for rough play, you want to avoid contact with teeth, nails, or harsh grabbing. Be aware of your lips and make sure they cover your teeth when his cock is in your mouth.

Slowing down and making the goal pleasure instead of ejaculation offers you something amazing: creativity. Creativity to touch, lick, kiss, hold, and caress in ways that take you in the moment. It’s all about paying close attention. There is no ONE great way to give head.

If you notice yourself getting anxious about the idea slowing down and giving someone else pleasure, you might want to talk to a close friend or a trained professional about what makes you uncomfortable.

– Keeley & Nikita

Featured image by Édouard Henri Avril,19th c. French artist

2 thoughts on “How to Give a Great Blow Job

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