Men, how hard do you thrust during penetration? Do you have a sense of when your partner is really ready for you to pound hard? Sometimes it is hard to know how hard and fast your partner wants it. The truth is, each of your partners are going to be different, and, to make things even more complicated, if your partner is a woman, she will most likely feel different about pounding throughout her monthly cycle (this article is about cocks penetrating pussies just to be clear).
For those who have never heard of the term “pounding,” Urban Dictionary says it quite well: “fucking the shit out of your girl.” Here are the basics of what you need to know about pounding:
1. The role of the cervix. Inside of the vagina, at the very back, is the cervix (check out our woman’s anatomy page if you are not sure where that is). The cervix has different sensitivities throughout the month. Sometimes it feels highly pleasurable to have the cervix stimulated, while other times the cervix is much too sensitive. If you are curious about where the cervix is and what it feels like, ask your partner if you can feel her cervix (she might not even know, so you could teach her something). Put your fingers inside and move all to the very back of the pussy; the area feels similar to the head of the penis. Make sure your fingers are lubricated before you do this. First, touch lightly around the outside of the cervix and check with her to see if that is too much pressure. If you still have the green light, try some light tapping or making circles around it with your finger.
When you thrust in and out of the pussy, you are most likely hitting the cervix. Some women will love this all the time, some will only love this during certain times of the month, and some will never love this.
2. The importance of prior arousal. Even women that do enjoy being “pounded” and having their cervixes stimulated will need warm up time, often much more warm up than men need to become erect. Before you even consider the idea of pounding, ask yourself “is my partner turned on right now?” If the answer is “no,” or “I am not sure,” pounding harder is not the best way to raise the arousal level for all women. The hard thrusting in and out that feels so good for men does little to warm up the pussy. You want her nice and wet before fucking hard. If her level of arousal is not clear, ask her or say something like, “I really want to just fuck you hard right now.” Listen to how she responds. Look for arching of her back, nipples getting hard, more wetness from her pussy, heavier breathing, moaning, the word “yes,” and flushing of her face and neck. If she seems into it, you have the green light.
3. She is asking for it. If your woman says anything to the effect of “harder,” “faster,” or “more,” fuck her harder, really go for it. If you are worried that you might hurt her, ask her to tell you if it’s too much before you even begin having sex. It is not very sexy to feel your partner holding back when you really want them. Let yourself go!
4. Mix it up. Hard thrusting and pounding only feels good for a short period of time (for most women). Contrary to what you see in porn, hard fucking over an extended period of time does nothing to move most women’s arousal along. Don’t let yourself get stuck at one pace. Give yourself the freedom to change pace and even change position.
5. It may not be what she wants every time. Even if she likes it hard one day, that does not mean she will always want to be fucked that hard the next day. This does not mean she is not attracted to you or doesn’t want to be with you (see #1). Be sure to have other go-to techniques, not just hard pounding.
If hard pounding is your default for stimulation during sex, take a look at what you have learned about sex. There is so much more to penetration than fucking hard the whole time. That said, you must be aware of the signs for when it is go-time, because, that’s when you can really let loose, and everyone is happy.
Caveat: if you find that you orgasm too quickly during hard pounding, pull your cock out and use your fingers or a dildo to create the sensation that the pounding of a cock would create. Remember that grabbing the base of the cock and using cock rings will make the cock harder because these techniques bring more blood into the penis, however, they won’t increase how long you will last. Happy pounding!