Aline Et Valcour by Hans Bellmer, 20th c. German artist
Rim jobs aka analingus, are an “I love it!” or “no-way!” sort of thing. The sensations are unique, and for those who enjoy them there is nothing else quite like it. This is because there are tons of nerve endings around the anus.
Not many people get turned on by licking someone’s asshole. Given the function of the asshole, it’s not hard to imagine why. This is one sexual act where hygiene really really matters! Putting your face near an unclean asshole can be a turn-off from rim jobs for life, and most people don’t want to associate their partner with poop smell. To overcome these concerns and any lingering hesitancy, especially if it’s either person’s first time giving or receiving a rim job, the receiver should wash themselves thoroughly and if they’ve got a lot of hair in the area, trim it or wax it. There’s no need to give yourself an enema unless it helps you relax.
Good positions for the receiver vary – it’s all about comfort. Some people feel most relaxed lying down either on their stomach or back, others like to receive while on all fours (doggie-style position), some people like scooting their butt to the end of a chair, while others enjoy standing with the giver kneeling underneath them. If the receiver is a man that also wants prostate pleasure, one position to try is standing while facing a wall (which can be used for support) while your partner kneels in front of you – this makes it easier for them to use their mouth and fingers.
Start by touching some other part of the receiver’s body first, like their thighs, or massage their butt. This will help the receiver relax. When the receiver communicates that they’re ready or you’re in tune with their arousal, move in with your tongue. Slowly draw circles around the outer skin of their anus. If speeding up feels good to the receiver, go for it. You may try flicking actions with your tongue, or moving the tongue up and down, or side to side, too. Some people prefer a more pointed shape of the tongue, while other people enjoy the sensation of wide, flat-tongued licking that spans from their genitals to their anus. Men tend to respond very well to this kind of licking while they are masturbating. Feeling bold? Enter the receiver’s anus with your tongue and make circles or move your tongue in an in-and-out motion.
While you are using your mouth, put your hands to good use by either massaging the receiver’s legs, butt, or genitals. It can feel grounding to have someone just hold onto your sides while they are pleasuring you. Some people also like their having a finger or butt plug inserted during anal play, while others are perfectly happy with the single sensation of the tongue. Take your time with exploring and ask your partner what they enjoy or might like.
- If the rim job is being performed on a woman, be sure that you do not lick her pussy afterwards. You can lick her pussy beforehand, but you do not want to risk passing bacteria from the anus to the vagina because it can result in an infection.
- Try experimenting by masturbating while receiving, or if you’re really talented masturbate the other person or use a vibrator while you perform the rim job.
- Flavored lube can be helpful. Sliquid makes some nice ones. Flavored lubes can be used in conjunction with a dental dam or saran wrap, which acts as a barrier to protect against contracting or transferring STIs, if that is a concern for you.
- If you are curious about anal play but find rim jobs intimidating, you may want to start with fingering, anal massage, or using butt plugs.
– Keeley & Nikita