Men’s Fear

Guest post by Ty Lamarr, check out Ty’s blog, Inside the Mind of Ty Lamarr, here

Top of the morning to you all!  Well…it’s morning on my side of the Earth.  Friday morning to be exact…and the time currently…0420.  I’m up early as usual…doing my morning ritual of rhyme writing…usually, when those thoughts stop flowing…I take a break and switch over to the blog…so…what is the topic of discussion for today? Fear. In particular…Men’s Fear.

Do any of you know what men fear? If you don’t…you will. Let’s get into it. Ok…so check this out…for as long as men can remember…the thing we feared most was…the disapproval of women…think about it…little boys get scolded by their mothers…and learn very early on…not to piss Momma off…or…there will be consequences…boys go to school…and it’s more of the same…because usually…the teachers are female…and basically…this fear cycle continues on throughout our lives…think about it…when a man is successful…he is rewarded with…women…shit…much of what men do…whether it be…going to the gym…getting the high paying job…the nice car…the expensive wardrobe…that is…to attract women…a woman’s validation is fuel for a lot of men…

Having women disapprove of a man’s actions…his thoughts…his career…his choices…his tastes…his ideas…etc…brings about a very shameful response that most men don’t want to experience…so…with that said…men…tend to stick to the script…stay inside the box…so as to avoid the disapproval of women.  If you want to see this in action…you don’t have to look very far.  Find an attractive woman…whether in person…or on your social media…and see how many “yes men” she has following her around…this…is simping…but…the reason for it is…Fear.

Now…the woman who has these “yes men” around…doesn’t really respect these men…but…they don’t know that…well…some of them do…but, their fear keeps them frozen in place…so…they won’t be doing anything about their fear anytime soon…nah…they will continue with the simping…in hopes of gaining the approval of the attractive woman…while I understand the reasoning…I can’t support simpery at all…that road only leads to one place…and that destination is…exploitation…and since i’m not a fan of seeing anyone get taken advantage of…let’s talk about how to get out of this place.

Men…know your worth!  I’ve heard women and men stress to women…to know their worth…we tend to do that often with women…but…the same message never seems to get relayed over to men…so…let’s correct that…Men…know your worth…know what it is that YOU bring to the table…what you have to offer…stop waiting for women to approve of what you have to say…of your actions…your decisions…because the woman you place on a pedestal…is the same woman who will be standing above you…looking down on you…think about that…but…before we go any further…i’m going to clarify that last statement…see…in my experience…when I make these kinds of statements…I later have to go back and provide more clarity because of Black and White…All or Nothing thinking…that so many people suffer from…tell a man not to place a woman on a pedestal…and the immediate thought is a negative one…to many…reading this means…well…if he doesn’t place her on a pedestal…then he must be placing her below him…go ahead and admit…that was your thought process…lol…ok…moving on…not placing a woman on a pedestal…does not mean that you place a woman below you…it simply means…you both need to be looking at each other eye to eye…on even ground.

A man’s need for a woman’s validation and approval…is often how men end up messing up their relationships/marriages…it’s how men get themselves into very bad situations with women…women…often use…disapproval…and failure to validate a man…as a shit test…to test out the man’s mental state…his confidence…his resolve…since…she knows that he placed her in the position to have the power to influence his decisions…a simple disapproval…a withholding of affections…a refusal of intimacy…will quickly break a man who was reliant on the woman’s approval…Men need to understand that validation and invalidation is often used as a weapon…and the men who continually fail this shit test…are not respected.

Gents…an important concept for you to understand…Strength and Weakness…women often are evaluating a man on those things…and not strength and weakness in the physical…but…the mental…when a woman knows that she can continually, emotionally manipulate you…you’re in for a very long ride…this doesn’t necessarily matter outside of relationships…I mean…you’ll be one of those friend zone dudes that get used…but…inside a relationship or marriage…this is detrimental.  I’ll explain…when a man loves a woman…and she knows it…and begins with these shit tests…she is not operating from a loving place…Love isn’t about testing out a man’s strengths and weaknesses…it’s about building each other up…coming together…working together…so…when the man is “Loving” but at the same time…being tested for his strength and weakness…guess what?  His Love will be viewed as a weakness…which…will get exploited.

All of this probably sounds strange…but…I’d be willing to bet…there are a lot of women reading this…who know it to be truth…anyway…in my opinion…true strength is vulnerability…and a man is usually most vulnerable…with the woman he loves.  Ladies…do you see this as the opportune time to begin with the shit testing?  If so…then…it should also be understood why…there are so many men out there…who refuse to give you their heart.

Alright…wrap up time…Men…Self Respect, Morals, Values, and Boundaries are needed at all times…Wear them like Armor…AND…Validate yourself…KNOW within yourself…that way…no one can give…or…take any value away from you…Be careful who you give your power away to…not every woman has the best intentions in mind for you.

Relationships require reciprocity…