The Erotic Mind

The Erotic Mind: Unlocking the Inner Source of Sexual Passion and Fulfillment, by Jack Morin Do you know what your core erotic theme is? This is a wonderful book for anyone that wants to delve deeper into what turns them on and why. As Dr. Morin says, Almost everyone is aware that becoming aroused feels…

What’s Your Core Erotic Theme?

Image © Ellen Von Unwerth, view more of her fabulous photos here We’ve mentioned the core erotic theme in other posts. But what is it, really? And more importantly, how could it improve your sex life? In his book, The Erotic Mind, Jack Morin outlines eroticism as: The interplay of sexual arousal with the challenges…

A Billion Wicked Thoughts

I didn’t agree with everything written in A Billion Wicked Thoughts, though it contained many interesting bits of information. The authors, Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam, sifted through over 400 million Internet searches and found that 55 million of them (about 13 percent) were for erotic content. Who is doing these searches? You guessed it: guys (mostly). Though…

Desire Reboot

We recently ran across an article in the Guardian where a man asked: “I am 63, and have lost sexual attraction for my wife of 45 years. I still love her but this has been a progressive issue. I feel bad because I find other women attractive, and have battled with it since youth. I…

When You’re Ready To Meet The One

When you’re ready to meet The One, you really need to sit down and figure out what’s important to you in a relationship as well as the qualities you want in another person if you haven’t already done so. – Write down every characteristic you want in a partner, from essential personality traits to the…

Beginners Guide to Fantasy

Fantasy. We are all familiar with fantasy on one level or another, even if we are not aware of it. Most of us are familiar with fairy tales and Disney movies. Take Cinderella; you have a young girl living beneath her evil step sisters who eventually gets rescued by a handsome prince to live happily…

Are There Benefits to Withholding Ejaculation During Orgasm?

A man recently wrote in and asked this question: what are your thoughts on male orgasm and Eastern/tantric practices which advise against physical orgasm (but might be favorable towards energetic orgasm)? I’m asking as I’m curious about how holding back on orgasm influences the male body/psyche. I’ve been always been a guy who ejaculates frequently,…

Pleasure from Pain: Endorphin “Highs” and the Subspace

When you are being restrained (by choice) in a sexual situation, you may, paradoxically, experience a greater sense of freedom. Freedom to stop overanalyzing, freedom from responsibility in the situation, freedom to receive. You are vulnerable to the possibilities that your partner is in control of, which can create an “erotic anxiety” that heightens the sensations. Surrendering sexual control…

Cheating Wives: What’s Up With the Cuckold Fantasy?

You may be surprised to learn that a lot of men (and a few women) have a sexual fantasy where their partner is having sex with someone else. It usually goes like this: their partner is being fucked by someone else and they are either watching or otherwise unable to physically participate in the scene. This…

How Sexual Fantasies Can Explain Your Emotional Needs

In this post I’m going to discuss a new way to think about sexual fantasies; a way to frame them in your mind in order to discover what emotional needs are most important to you as well as what needs have yet to be fulfilled. Often times, fantasies are described as situations that a person desires…

5 Ways To Take Your Sex Life To The Next Level

Guest post by Veronica Monet, ACS, CAM, founder of TheShameFreeZone. No matter how awesome the sex you are currently having, there is the possibility for more. But more what? As a sexologist and sex educator, a lot of people want me to help them improve their sex lives. Many of those people imagine that I will…

It’s Here Again. Bikini Season.

It’s here again. Bikini season. I’ve been thinking: I do not have any women friends who have not talked with me at some point about body image struggles (this issue also affects men, but for this article, we are going to focus on the female body image struggle). Every single one of my female friends,…

When Correctly Viewed, Everything Is Lewd

Guest post by Cirrus Wood There’s something so delightful about Tom Lehrer. His avuncular charm, his brilliant yet personable elocution, his professorial bearing. Just look at him, letting out an adoring howl above the piano. Of course, some of what makes him so seductive to we modern listeners is nostalgia for a past we never…

Rape Is Everyone’s Problem

Several people who have read this article found it triggering, and this topic may not be appropriate for all readers. Our intent is to shed light on the sensitive topic of sexism against men and male victims of sexual assault. This topic is controversial and often goes overlooked. Here at BetterSexEd, we are committed to…

About Us

Nikita Coulombe I’ve never had a problem talking about sex or social issues. But it was only after doing extensive research and co-writing the TED book, Demise of Guys and Man Interrupted that I realized just how lacking sex education resources are. So I teamed up with Keeley Rankin to start BetterSexEd to offer objective information and candid…

Eating Out: A Beginner’s Guide To Cunnilingus

Yep, the vulva can be a bit mysterious sometimes, even when you’re well acquainted with someone’s. One important thing to remember as you decide to head south, is every woman will feel different about being eaten out. Some will love it; they will beg and plead for you to lick their pussies, some will actually…

Sexual Surrogacy

Yes, people who act as sex surrogates actually exist. The proper terminology for this line of work is surrogate partner therapy. Before the AIDs scare of the 1990s, there were many more surrogate partners than there are now. With the fear of a deadly sexual transmitted disease, many surrogates closed up shop and chose other professions.…

BDSM Basics

“We are hierarchical animals. Sweep one hierarchy away, and another will take its place, perhaps less palatable than the first. There are hierarchies in nature and alternate hierarchies in society. In nature, brute force is the law, a survival of the fittest. In society, there are protections for the weak. Society is our frail barrier…

About

Nikita Coulombe I’ve never had a problem talking about sex or social issues. But it was only after doing extensive research and co-writing the TED book, Demise of Guys and Man Interrupted that I realized just how lacking sex education resources are. So I teamed up with Keeley Rankin to start BetterSexEd to offer objective information and candid…