What Do You See in the Mirror?

When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Take a moment to become aware of all the thoughts and feelings that come up for you. November 19 is International Men’s Day; right now society likes to demonize men, thus many men hold shame simply for being male. We’d like to celebrate men as men,…

How the Word “Should” is Killing Your Sex Life

You should be like this. You should do that. If you want a healthy sexy life you should try this with your partner. There are “should’s” any direction you turn these days. People, other people, who you have not met, are telling you how you should act. In graduate school, I heard the phrase, “shoulding…

Who Would You Be Without Sex?

Sex is something most of us feel like we need. But how far does this need go – how much does it shape our lives? Prompted by a recent conversation, I started to wonder how our lives would be different without it. Who would we be – as a society and as individuals – without…

Is the World Rejecting Your Body or are You?

  Everyone has one, that is, a body that we walk around in everyday. Our bodies can give us immense pleasure and joy, and take us places – literally and metaphorically. One of my favorite things to explore with clients in session is their relationship with their own body. Something I have noticed in working…

It’s Here Again. Bikini Season.

It’s here again. Bikini season. I’ve been thinking: I do not have any women friends who have not talked with me at some point about body image struggles (this issue also affects men, but for this article, we are going to focus on the female body image struggle). Every single one of my female friends,…

Healing Sexual Shame

Guest post by Veronica Monet, ACS, CAM, founder of TheShameFreeZone. Article originally appeared in Living Well Magazine Healing shame is a vital step toward realizing your full potential and can have many unexpected benefits. For instance, if you are less controlled by feelings of shame, you may have more energy and enthusiasm to explore your…

Embracing A Partner’s Kink

Guest post by Lady Jane What is normal? And who gets to determine what that means? I’ve lived most of my adult life in denial about my sexuality. Even as a teenager, I had a higher than average sex drive and felt embarrassed, ashamed, and afraid to talk about it. I was too nervous about…

Is Uncircumcised Weird?

I was at a party last week and a friend of mine proclaimed rather loudly, “I would never be with someone who is uncircumcised!” I am very rarely shocked, although I have to say, I was quite surprised that one of my friends was clearly uneducated around this topic. Me, being the curious sex therapist…

Slut Shaming – Giving Yourself Permission To Love

Image © Rosea Posey Guest post from Lady Jane When my ex called me a “prostitute” and a “lying piece of shit,” I doubt his intention was to empower me, but he did. You see, we had just broken up for the umpteenth time from an exhausting, unhealthy, three year relationship and it was finally clear…

Normal Vagina – Is My Pussy Normal?

Just what is a normal vagina? Pretty much all of us wonder at some point if our genitals look normal and how they compare with others of the same sex. Young women especially are becoming more and more self-conscious of the appearance of their vulvas, from the shape, size, and symmetry of their labia to…

Penis Size Discussion

I recently watched the trailer for the movie Unhung Hero and cannot shake the message. A young man asked his girlfriend to marry him on live television at a sports game, she said “no,” apparently because of the size of his penis. The man then goes on a journey around the world to understand more…

Awkward Sex – Enjoying the Ups and Downs

We have all experienced the awkward moment during sex. You move to take your shirt off, or your pants or your body makes a funny noise that no one was planning on. We don’t normally mention these moments, we move as quickly past them almost pretending they didn’t happen. Still, they happen. At one point…