Help! My Partner Wants Sex More/Less Than I Do

Therapist: “Do you have sex often?” Him: “Hardly ever, maybe three times a week” Her: “Constantly, I’d say three times a week” Having differing sexual appetites is completely normal in relationships, yet it can create stress and strain connection when not discussed openly. We all know how rare it is to meet someone who has all…

Are You Talking Too Much On a First Date?

For most of us, meeting someone new is a somewhat stressful experience: will they like me? Will I have something interesting to say? Will I feel included? Raise the stakes to a date and now it is: will they think I’m sexy? Can they see my flaws? Do I have something interesting to say? There…

Is Being Judgmental Ruining Your Relationship?

Over the last six months I have been challenging myself to learn how to be less judgemental. I kept catching myself judging others in a harsh way. I remember asking myself, “would I treat a client who came to my office like this?” The answer was a clear no, so I decided to try to…

How the Word “Should” is Killing Your Sex Life

You should be like this. You should do that. If you want a healthy sexy life you should try this with your partner. There are “should’s” any direction you turn these days. People, other people, who you have not met, are telling you how you should act. In graduate school, I heard the phrase, “shoulding…

10 Ways to Become a More Connected and Loving Partner

Inspired by the idea of mutual care-taking, below are ten ways to better understand and connect with your partner: Build and maintain trust; stay in touch mentally. During “sliding door moments,” where you have the option to either have a conversation and resolve an issue with your partner, or distract yourself with the TV, a book,…

Michele Weiner-Davis: The Sex Starved Marriage & What To Do About It

In this TEDx talk below, Michele Weiner-Davis, marriage therapist and author of The Sex Starved Marriage: Boosting Your Marriage Libido: A Couple’s Guide, talks about how to get back to a loving and lasting long-term relationship: We liked her statement: “Healthy relationships are built on mutual care-taking.” When we think about how decisions are made in…

Pleasure from Pain: Endorphin “Highs” and the Subspace

When you are being restrained (by choice) in a sexual situation, you may, paradoxically, experience a greater sense of freedom. Freedom to stop overanalyzing, freedom from responsibility in the situation, freedom to receive. You are vulnerable to the possibilities that your partner is in control of, which can create an “erotic anxiety” that heightens the sensations. Surrendering sexual control…

Doctor’s Advice: Yes to Rectal Exams

The rectal exam….yes, you need to have it done. I can predict the moment in my conversations with patients when I’m gonna see “the grimace.”  It’s right at that moment when I go over what is involved in the urologic exam, “first we examine the penis and testicles and then sir you just turn around,…

Amazing Lovers are Made, Not Born

Even Don Juan had to become Don Juan Amazing lovers are made, not born. The reality is, amazing lovers are not automatically born into amazing lover status. Someone taught them how to touch, kiss, lick, grab, and hold. Every day I have conversations with people; clients and friends alike that are concerned about their performance…

Are We Best Friends, or Lovers?

We’re just best friends, right? Falling in love with your best friend is a tough situation! You’re not the first to experience this, and certainly not the last, either. It has often been a topic of debate whether people from the opposite sex can be friends and if they should just be platonic. Consider the famous…

How To Give A Rim Job

Aline Et Valcour by Hans Bellmer, 20th c. German artist Rim jobs aka analingus, are an “I love it!” or “no-way!” sort of thing. The sensations are unique, and for those who enjoy them there is nothing else quite like it. This is because there are tons of nerve endings around the anus. Not many people get…

Legal Issues Around Sexting

Sexting can be fun, but you might unwittingly break some laws you didn’t know about. For example, a lot of teens under 18 years old don’t realize that the sexy photos they have of their sweetheart could, in a court of law, be considered possession of child porn or distribution of child porn (if they…

Making Relationships Work: 4-part Series From Dr. John Gottman

In this 4-part video series, Dr. John Gottman discusses relationship patterns (and their effects) that he observed over 35 years of research. Part 1:  Highlights: – Dr. Gottman explains how he and Bob Levinson (visually) observed and measured people’s physiological responses to different kinds of interactions with their partner. They wanted to pick up on any patterns in successful…

5 Ways To Take Your Sex Life To The Next Level

Guest post by Veronica Monet, ACS, CAM, founder of TheShameFreeZone. No matter how awesome the sex you are currently having, there is the possibility for more. But more what? As a sexologist and sex educator, a lot of people want me to help them improve their sex lives. Many of those people imagine that I will…

Teaching Kids About Consent: Having The Other “Talk”

Guest post from Lady Jane Conversations about consent are all the rage these days, as well they should be. In a culture where assault, boundary breaking, and unwanted physical contact are prominent, what better place to start combating this issue than with beginning the conversation with our children. It’s true, giving kids too much information…

Diet & Libido: Eating Right For A Better Sex Life

You know when you eat something that your body doesn’t agree with. Your energy dips, you feel bloated and grumpy, mental fog descends, you might get acid reflux, and… oh yeah, your libido disappears. On the other hand, when you consistently give your body the kind of fuel it needs, it becomes a place you…

Ladies: Sexy Must Haves

Marilyn Monroe by Frederick M. Brown Last week, I went out wearing my little black dress that I love so much. As I was riding in the car on the way to dinner, I got to thinking about how sexy I felt. There are things in my life that I like to have, wear, and…

After The Honeymoon Phase

Ok, now what? Most of us have listened to stories from friends or experienced the typical arch of a sexual relationship. You start out with a burning lust and desire for the other person; it feels so good to be with them and everything they do turns you on. The sex is frequent and fulfilling.…

Njoy Pure Plug (Size Medium)

If you’re looking to experience solid and satisfying anal play, The Njoy Pure Plug will take you there. This is the real deal. This beautifully crafted piece of sex toy art is shiny, smooth, and sexy; it’s also very easy to insert. The stainless steel finish gives the toy weight (about the same as a…

Kegels: You’re Doing It Wrong!

Image © Futurama Who knew weighted balls weren’t the way to go? According to Julia Di Paolo, a registered pelvic-floor physiotherapist interviewed in a recent article by Devon Murphy in Vice, “holding balls in the vagina is not the way the vagina works.” She teaches 13 different types of Kegels but says sex is the best…

Desire Reboot

We recently ran across an article in the Guardian where a man asked: “I am 63, and have lost sexual attraction for my wife of 45 years. I still love her but this has been a progressive issue. I feel bad because I find other women attractive, and have battled with it since youth. I…

Sex 101 – A Girl’s Guide To 21st Century Sex

I am surprised a documentary like A Girl’s Guide To 21st Century Sex was made – and for public television! Hosted by sexual health expert Dr. Catherine Hood, this 8 part series explores everything from orgasms, sexual orientations, sex positions, pregnant sex, obese sex, how to’s, STIs, ejaculation (male and female), the effects of illegal…

Friend Zones & What To Do About Them

There are moments where attempting to date a certain person can feel like a game of snakes and ladders; at seemingly random intervals you feel like you’re getting a lucky break and other times you feel like you’re getting your ass kicked back to the curb. You may wonder at what point you should throw…

Orgy Do’s And Don’ts

Guest post by Lady Jane At BetterSexEd, we strive to bring you accurate, progressive information on a wide range of topics with a side of clever wit, cheeky humor, without a whole lot of judgment. Some topics are easier to research than others and some things while others – like advice to (potential) orgy participants…

How To Introduce Sex Toys Into The Bedroom

Introducing new activities and changing things up in the bedroom can be fun, invigorating, and also a little scary. A lot of people find it hard to ask for what they want, for example, “I want a vibrator in our bed.” There can also be a fear that your partner thinks that what you’ve been…

Erotic Massage – Video Instruction On Touch And Sex

The New School Of Erotic Touch offers a variety of instructional video classes that teach viewers how to deliver erotic massage as well as become a better and more mindful lover with different sexual techniques. One of their classes, Kama Sutra of Sexual Positions and the Fine Art of Sexual Positions, stood out to us. This…

The New School Of Erotic Touch

The New School of Erotic Touch is a wonderful resource for anyone looking to improve their sex life with new ideas and techniques. Their site offers a wide variety of instruction, including erotic massage for men and women, sensual techniques for oral, anal, and vaginal sex, tantra, and masturbation. The typical cost of a video…

10 Things I Wish My Parents Had Told Me About Sex

Guest post from Lady Jane My therapist is quick to ask me about my childhood when addressing my issues as an adult. Sure, it would be easy to point the finger at Mom and Dad for screwing us all up big time, but let’s not be too quick to harshly judge our upbringing. While sitting…

20 Questions To Ask At The Beginning Of A Relationship

So much heartache and resentment can be avoided when important questions get asked at the beginning of a relationship. You feel a lot more confident in your relationship when you know whether you have the same values and long-term goals as the person you are interested in. By no means are these questions meant to…