Are You Talking Too Much On a First Date?

For most of us, meeting someone new is a somewhat stressful experience: will they like me? Will I have something interesting to say? Will I feel included? Raise the stakes to a date and now it is: will they think I’m sexy? Can they see my flaws? Do I have something interesting to say? There…

Pleasure from Pain: Endorphin “Highs” and the Subspace

When you are being restrained (by choice) in a sexual situation, you may, paradoxically, experience a greater sense of freedom. Freedom to stop overanalyzing, freedom from responsibility in the situation, freedom to receive. You are vulnerable to the possibilities that your partner is in control of, which can create an “erotic anxiety” that heightens the sensations. Surrendering sexual control…

Does A More Equal Marriage Mean Less Sex?

Image © Craig Cutler for the New York Times This is a response to Lori Gottlieb’s article of the same name, Does A More Equal Marriage Mean Less Sex?, recently published in the New York Times. In her piece, Ms. Gottlieb noted that: A study called “Egalitarianism, Housework and Sexual Frequency in Marriage,” which appeared…

Asking For What You Want In Relationships

Many people in relationships twist and contort themselves around their partner and forget about the things that they want. Often this happens right in the beginning of a relationship, called the merging phase. Once the merging phase ends, the things you want that are different from your partner begin to show up more frequently. This…