How the Word “Should” is Killing Your Sex Life

You should be like this. You should do that. If you want a healthy sexy life you should try this with your partner. There are “should’s” any direction you turn these days. People, other people, who you have not met, are telling you how you should act. In graduate school, I heard the phrase, “shoulding…

Fantasy vs. Reality: Which is Better?

Fantasy and using our imaginations is a natural part of being human. We have the ability to fantasize about so many things – especially sexual things. Everyone has had a sexual fantasy. Whether it is about someone sweeping you off your feet (romantic), unexpectedly meeting a sexy stranger and going right at it (no-strings-attached passion),…

Are There Benefits to Withholding Ejaculation During Orgasm?

A man recently wrote in and asked this question: what are your thoughts on male orgasm and Eastern/tantric practices which advise against physical orgasm (but might be favorable towards energetic orgasm)? I’m asking as I’m curious about how holding back on orgasm influences the male body/psyche. I’ve been always been a guy who ejaculates frequently,…

The Elusive Female Orgasm

Keeley’s Orgasm by Nikita Coulombe I have always had an interest in sex; either in being sexual or feeling a sexy energetic connection with people. From a pretty young age I liked to experiment. When people who knew me as a teenager found out that I became a sex coach, it was certainly no surprise.…

A Conversation on Men: Have the Tables Turned?

A couple weeks ago we chatted with T & A, the lovely ladies of Pushing Boundaries, to discuss masculinity and male sexual expression. We highlighted some research from Nikita’s new book with Phil Zimbardo, Man (Dis)connected, and Keeley offered insights from her observations as a therapist. Click here to check it out! – Keeley & Nikita

Mr. S Leather: Flog Review

A while ago I purchased a buffalo leather flog from Mr. S Leather in San Francisco. I’m always impressed by their leather products, everything they make there in the shop is beautifully constructed with top quality materials, and this flog was no exception. Most flogs, when you pick them up, don’t have much weight to them, their…