Reintroduction – A Sexual Encounter

One of our readers who would like to go by the name of Rudolph Valentino sent us this sexy story. Enjoy!   When I first met her she was a Doctor finishing her fourth year of residency, and me… I just worked there. I thought she was gorgeous. Attractive, petite, short, with glasses… fuck… I…

Parents and Teachers: What Teens Really Want To Learn From Sex Ed

Almost all teens in America have received a formal sex education by age 18, but only about two-thirds have been taught about birth control methods. Amazingly, only 13 states require that instruction be medically accurate and 19 require information on condoms or contraception, while 37 require information on abstinence be provided. With such inconsistent standards it’s no surprise that…

What (Not) To Expect From Your Expectations

Guest post from Lady Jane Think about the people, places, and things in your life. What do you expect from them? What do you expect from your partner? Your cat? Your coffee maker? Your shower? Your phone… Are your expectations realistic, accurate, fair, obvious, or even possible? When you turn the key in the ignition…

Is Being Judgmental Ruining Your Relationship?

Over the last six months I have been challenging myself to learn how to be less judgemental. I kept catching myself judging others in a harsh way. I remember asking myself, “would I treat a client who came to my office like this?” The answer was a clear no, so I decided to try to…

How the Word “Should” is Killing Your Sex Life

You should be like this. You should do that. If you want a healthy sexy life you should try this with your partner. There are “should’s” any direction you turn these days. People, other people, who you have not met, are telling you how you should act. In graduate school, I heard the phrase, “shoulding…

Are There Benefits to Withholding Ejaculation During Orgasm?

A man recently wrote in and asked this question: what are your thoughts on male orgasm and Eastern/tantric practices which advise against physical orgasm (but might be favorable towards energetic orgasm)? I’m asking as I’m curious about how holding back on orgasm influences the male body/psyche. I’ve been always been a guy who ejaculates frequently,…

A Conversation on Men: Have the Tables Turned?

A couple weeks ago we chatted with T & A, the lovely ladies of Pushing Boundaries, to discuss masculinity and male sexual expression. We highlighted some research from Nikita’s new book with Phil Zimbardo, Man (Dis)connected, and Keeley offered insights from her observations as a therapist. Click here to check it out! – Keeley & Nikita

Female Condoms May Be Your New Best Friend

Image via Spread the Health The female condom still has a long way to go in gaining popularity in the U.S. Often I hear it mentioned in the same sentence with the diaphragm, which is a cervical barrier your grandmother may have used. Unlike the female condom, however, the diaphragm only protects a women from…

Condomology 101

Yes, you’ve read it right, condomology – the study of condoms. Condoms are among the most used contraceptives in the U.S. by people who are not in a long-term or monogamous relationship. There’s an easy explanation: it’s the only contraceptive that protects against both pregnancy and STDs. However, not everyone is a big fan. Apart…

All About Prostate Pleasure

In this set of videos, Chris from Pleasure Mechanics interviews Aislinn Emirzian, co-author of The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure, about what the prostate is and how men can receive pleasure from prostate massage. What is the prostate? In the image below you can see that the prostate is about the size of a walnut…

10 Things I Wish My Parents Had Told Me About Sex

Guest post from Lady Jane My therapist is quick to ask me about my childhood when addressing my issues as an adult. Sure, it would be easy to point the finger at Mom and Dad for screwing us all up big time, but let’s not be too quick to harshly judge our upbringing. While sitting…

5 Perspectives About Porn

What’s good about porn? What’s bad about porn? What is simply nobody else’s business? Below are several different perspectives on porn. “Pornography is good for us” debate at the Royal Institution of Great Britain:   “Why I stopped watching porn” by Ran Gavrieli at TEDxJaffa:   “Make love not porn” by Cindy Gallop at TEDxOxford:…

How We Talk About Sex Matters

Sex educator Al Vernacchio says we need a new metaphor for sex, one that’s not competitive, goal driven, heterosexist, exclusive, or rule bound. He suggests that instead of baseball (the most common analogy Americans use when talking about sex), we need to look for something that allows us to explore satisfaction, like pizza. Watch his…

S.E.X. The All-You-Need-To-Know Progressive Sexuality Guide To Get You Through High School and College

If you are a high schooler or University student, or you’re looking for a good book about sex education for your high-schooler or University student, in addition to Good Vibrations Guide To Great Sex, we’d recommend S.E.X. The All-You-Need-To-Know Progressive Sexuality Guide To Get You Through High School and College by Heather Corinna, executive director of…

The Coolidge Effect

I’m sure President Coolidge would have been thrilled to have this idea named after him… It all goes back to an unverified story about him and his wife, Grace Coolidge, being shown separately around a government farm. When Mrs. Coolidge came across a rooster going at it with the hens, she asked the attendant how…

Is Uncircumcised Weird?

I was at a party last week and a friend of mine proclaimed rather loudly, “I would never be with someone who is uncircumcised!” I am very rarely shocked, although I have to say, I was quite surprised that one of my friends was clearly uneducated around this topic. Me, being the curious sex therapist…

Laci Green – Sex Education Basics

Laci Green is a sex positive vlogger and peer sex educator. We love her popular YouTube channel, and would recommend it for the younger and less experienced crowd, or anyone that has a lot of questions and doesn’t know where to start. Below are a couple of her videos, to give you an idea: 5 most…

Asking For What You Want In Relationships

Many people in relationships twist and contort themselves around their partner and forget about the things that they want. Often this happens right in the beginning of a relationship, called the merging phase. Once the merging phase ends, the things you want that are different from your partner begin to show up more frequently. Asking…

Al Vernacchio Asks – What’s Your Sexual Footprint?

It’s interesting to consider the “ripple effect” our actions and attitudes have, especially when it comes to sex. What is a sexual footprint? Al Vernacchio, a sex education teacher at Friends’ Central, a private Quaker school just outside Philadelphia, says it’s the path that is created by the decisions we make and the actions we take regarding our sexual selves.…

Antibiotic Resistant Gonorrhea – On The Rise

Gonorrhea is one of the most commonly reported STDs in the United States and has progressively developed resistance to the antibiotic drugs typically prescribed to treat it. In 2012 the World Health Organization issued an alert that there was an impending threat for an untreatable form of antibiotic resistant gonorrhea that could potentially initiate an epidemic. In 2013 the Centers…

Normal Vagina – Is My Pussy Normal?

Just what is a normal vagina? Pretty much all of us wonder at some point if our genitals look normal and how they compare with others of the same sex. Young women especially are becoming more and more self-conscious of the appearance of their vulvas, from the shape, size, and symmetry of their labia to…

Having The STD Talk With A New Partner

We know that talking with a potential partner about getting tested for STDs – or telling them you already have an STD – can be scary and feel like a major arousal kill. Even though it is awkward, open communication about STDs is crucial for relationship success! Talking to your friends about your current situation,…

Types Of Birth Control Methods For Men And Women

Before we get started, it should be noted that while birth control methods are meant to prevent pregnancy, they may not have any effect, or limited effect, on protecting against STDs. The costs of each kind of method vary depending on your health care coverage and location. Abstinence and withdrawal are the only methods that…

Parents – When Your Teen Is Sexually Active

As a follow-up to our other post on talking to your teen about sex, we wanted to offer some advice to parents about how to talk with their teen who already is sexually active or is contemplating becoming sexually active in the near future. So many teens are sexually active – 7 out of 10…

Sex Talk – Talking To Your Teenager About Sex

Image © Phil Spratt As the cartoon above illustrates, because of technology young people are more exposed to sex than ever before. But are they more knowledgeable? Yes and no. While teenagers are watching lots of porn, they are receiving few alternative perspectives about what a consensual, constructive and fulfilling sexual relationship looks like. Whether…

The Arousal Curve

When we use the term arousal curve, we are speaking to where you are in terms of feeling turned on. No two people have the same arousal curve, it is different for every person. The curve is a scale from 1- 10. 1 is very little arousal, 9 is the point of no return (orgasm).…

Madonna Whore Complex

We see sex everywhere, so why is it so hard to talk about? Is being crude — thus lowbrow and easily dismissible — the only way to make it acceptable? A lot of men in America have developed a Madonna Whore Complex in part because of this strange divergence. Described as love without sex and…

STD Scare – You’re Not Alone

Most of us have had an STD scare at least once in our lives. This very realistic and hilariously short video, Blessing in Disguise, highlights how stigmatized herpes (particularly HSV-II, or genital herpes) is in our culture. A close friend of mine loves to tell the story about his good friend from Europe who was…

Consent And Boundaries

One of my professors, a very wise woman that lectured on sexuality, said: “When it comes to sex, wait for the yes please!” As a somewhat sexually inexperienced sophomore in University, I was wondering what that kind of consent looked like. At 27 years old and married, I now understand; yes please is uninhibited enthusiasm.…

BSPI Test – Understanding Your Sexuality With The Beiter Sexuality Preference Indicator

The Beiter Sexuality Preference Indicator (BSPI) was developed by Dr. John Beiter as a communications tool to help individuals understand what their sexual preferences are in their sexual relationships. It also was intended to provide a starting point or comfortable means for openly discussing one’s own sexuality. Dr. Beiter stated on his site, “I have learned through…

Choosing a Lubricant

Whatever your situation is, sex is usually better with lube. There are three kinds of personal lubricant: Water-based lubricants: water-based lubes are the most common and recommended since they’re safe to use with sex toys and latex contraceptives like condoms and diaphragms. Water-based lubes are formulated to be non-irritating, though some contain glycerin, which can…

Sexual Fantasies – A Beginner’s Guide

Fantasy. We are all familiar with fantasy on one level or another, even if we are not aware of it. Most of us are familiar with fairy tales and Disney movies. Take Cinderella; you have a young girl living beneath her evil step sisters who eventually gets rescued by a handsome prince to live happily…

Porn Statistics – The Popularity Of Porn At A Glance

Any article about porn statistics needs to start out with a little context. Back in 1996, just several years after the World Wide Web went live, a young man named Peter Morley-Souter drew a comic scene that depicted his initial shock at seeing a couple of his favorite cartoon characters, Calvin and Hobbes, having sex…

Parenting Taboos – Brave Parents Share Uncomfortable Truths

Rufus Griscom and Alisa Volkman are married and the parents of three boys. They co-founded Babble, a parenting site, and have spent nearly a decade growing the site to attract more than 4 million viewers a month. In the following video they discuss several parenting taboos they experienced in the early years as young parents: You can’t…

Body Image Mindfulness

Exploring human sexuality inevitably leads to a discussion around body image. We need and want our bodies to feel pleasure, yet we judge, shame, think and say awful things about them. So many of the images we see in the media are doctored beyond belief, and we all feel the pressure to look “perfect” (if…

Ejaculation Control – Overcoming Early Ejaculation

One in three men report being affected by early ejaculation. That’s a lot of guys! Even more men out there are feeling as though they are underperforming in the bedroom. Often the idea that you might be underperforming can lead to all sorts of beliefs, ideas, and feelings about yourself. One of the ways I…

Mating in Captivity – How to Balance Desire and Love

In her TED talk above, Esther Perel argues good and committed sex draws on two conflicting needs: our need for security and our need for surprise. In her book, Mating in Captivity, she discusses when we are most drawn to our partners and why, our turn-ons and offs, balancing love and desire, reconciling domesticity and sensuality, and how to give…

Do you have Herpes?

Chances are, unless you are a virgin, you’ve at least been exposed to herpes. Eeek, right?! Well, chances are you’ve probably never been tested for it, either. Many people are familiar with oral herpes, aka HSV-I, which usually manifests around the mouth area. But most people are ill-informed about genital herpes, aka HSV-II, which usually…

Awkward Sex – Enjoying the Ups and Downs

We have all experienced the awkward moment during sex. You move to take your shirt off, or your pants or your body makes a funny noise that no one was planning on. We don’t normally mention these moments, we move as quickly past them almost pretending they didn’t happen. Still, they happen. At one point…

Surrender Date

When you want to mix up dinner-and-a-movie nights, try a surrender date. Surrender dates are fun for newer and more established couples. The idea comes from Dr. Laura Berman’s show, Sexual Healing; no matter what concerns a couple had, she suggested they go on a surrender date to learn how to relax and trust that…