Men’s Fear

Guest post by Ty Lamarr, check out Ty’s blog, Inside the Mind of Ty Lamarr, here Top of the morning to you all!  Well…it’s morning on my side of the Earth.  Friday morning to be exact…and the time currently…0420.  I’m up early as usual…doing my morning ritual of rhyme writing…usually, when those thoughts stop flowing…I take…

Help! My Partner Wants Sex More/Less Than I Do

Therapist: “Do you have sex often?” Him: “Hardly ever, maybe three times a week” Her: “Constantly, I’d say three times a week” Having differing sexual appetites is completely normal in relationships, yet it can create stress and strain connection when not discussed openly. We all know how rare it is to meet someone who has all…

What (Not) To Expect From Your Expectations

Guest post from Lady Jane Think about the people, places, and things in your life. What do you expect from them? What do you expect from your partner? Your cat? Your coffee maker? Your shower? Your phone… Are your expectations realistic, accurate, fair, obvious, or even possible? When you turn the key in the ignition…

Is Being Judgmental Ruining Your Relationship?

Over the last six months I have been challenging myself to learn how to be less judgemental. I kept catching myself judging others in a harsh way. I remember asking myself, “would I treat a client who came to my office like this?” The answer was a clear no, so I decided to try to…

Michele Weiner-Davis: The Sex Starved Marriage & What To Do About It

In this TEDx talk below, Michele Weiner-Davis, marriage therapist and author of The Sex Starved Marriage: Boosting Your Marriage Libido: A Couple’s Guide, talks about how to get back to a loving and lasting long-term relationship: We liked her statement: “Healthy relationships are built on mutual care-taking.” When we think about how decisions are made in…

Who Would You Be Without Sex?

Sex is something most of us feel like we need. But how far does this need go – how much does it shape our lives? Prompted by a recent conversation, I started to wonder how our lives would be different without it. Who would we be – as a society and as individuals – without…

Responses of Mass Destruction

Guest Post by Lady Jane I was having a tough conversation with my partner the other night and it left us both emotionally and physically wounded. This is not so desirable for emotional growth and bonding and isn’t how you want your conversations and interactions to conclude. We happened to be discussing intimacy, or lack…

Amazing Lovers are Made, Not Born

Even Don Juan had to become Don Juan Amazing lovers are made, not born. The reality is, amazing lovers are not automatically born into amazing lover status. Someone taught them how to touch, kiss, lick, grab, and hold. Every day I have conversations with people; clients and friends alike that are concerned about their performance…

The Power of Compliments

“I can live for two months on a good compliment.” – Mark Twain Complimenting someone else is one of my favorite things to do. If I see something I like about a person, I just say it right then and there. Even the people that have a hard time taking compliments love when someone notices…

Making Relationships Work: 4-part Series From Dr. John Gottman

In this 4-part video series, Dr. John Gottman discusses relationship patterns (and their effects) that he observed over 35 years of research. Part 1:  Highlights: – Dr. Gottman explains how he and Bob Levinson (visually) observed and measured people’s physiological responses to different kinds of interactions with their partner. They wanted to pick up on any patterns in successful…

Teaching Kids About Consent: Having The Other “Talk”

Guest post from Lady Jane Conversations about consent are all the rage these days, as well they should be. In a culture where assault, boundary breaking, and unwanted physical contact are prominent, what better place to start combating this issue than with beginning the conversation with our children. It’s true, giving kids too much information…

From Jealousy To Joy: An Anecdote Of Extremes

Guest post from Lady Jane For many of us “monogam-ish” folks, wrangling jealousy is one of the most difficult parts of our relationships and is a common recurring theme. It’s the realization that if you have multiple partners in your life, you’re going to have to learn to share. “Learn to share” is a tricky…

After The Honeymoon Phase

Ok, now what? Most of us have listened to stories from friends or experienced the typical arch of a sexual relationship. You start out with a burning lust and desire for the other person; it feels so good to be with them and everything they do turns you on. The sex is frequent and fulfilling.…

Embracing A Partner’s Kink

Guest post by Lady Jane What is normal? And who gets to determine what that means? I’ve lived most of my adult life in denial about my sexuality. Even as a teenager, I had a higher than average sex drive and felt embarrassed, ashamed, and afraid to talk about it. I was too nervous about…

100 Of The Greatest Love Stories

The Loveumentary is a project started in 2012 by Nate Bagley, a young guy who wanted to work through his growing feelings of cynicism and frustration with love. He came up with an idea to find and document 100 of the greatest love stories, and with the help of friend and partner on the journey,…

Sex 101 – A Girl’s Guide To 21st Century Sex

I am surprised a documentary like A Girl’s Guide To 21st Century Sex was made – and for public television! Hosted by sexual health expert Dr. Catherine Hood, this 8 part series explores everything from orgasms, sexual orientations, sex positions, pregnant sex, obese sex, how to’s, STIs, ejaculation (male and female), the effects of illegal…

Discover Your Partner’s Secret Sexual Desires

Ever wondered if your partner may be interested in the same fantasy as you, or wants more of a certain sex act? Enter MojoUpgrade, the interactive sex questionnaire for couples. From their site: “We present a list of sexual fantasies to both partners separately and have them indicate their level of interest. After the couple…

Non-Monogamy: Most Common Questions & Answers

Guest post from Lady Jane Based on my other articles, you may have been given the impression that non-monogamy is a huge, sexy free-for-all with no regard for health risks or other relationships. My bad. Since this isn’t the case, I’d like to answer some of the more common questions that everyone wants to ask,…

Asking For What You Want In Relationships

Many people in relationships twist and contort themselves around their partner and forget about the things that they want. Often this happens right in the beginning of a relationship, called the merging phase. Once the merging phase ends, the things you want that are different from your partner begin to show up more frequently. Asking…

Al Vernacchio Asks – What’s Your Sexual Footprint?

It’s interesting to consider the “ripple effect” our actions and attitudes have, especially when it comes to sex. What is a sexual footprint? Al Vernacchio, a sex education teacher at Friends’ Central, a private Quaker school just outside Philadelphia, says it’s the path that is created by the decisions we make and the actions we take regarding our sexual selves.…

Parents – When Your Teen Is Sexually Active

As a follow-up to our other post on talking to your teen about sex, we wanted to offer some advice to parents about how to talk with their teen who already is sexually active or is contemplating becoming sexually active in the near future. So many teens are sexually active – 7 out of 10…

51 Truths About Love And Sex For Generation Y

1. Relationships are what you put into them. 2. Everyone loses when love and sex are treated like a game. 3. If you have your guard up in the beginning and then suddenly lower it, don’t wonder why the other person is running hot and cold – they met one person and now you’re showing…

Consent And Boundaries

One of my professors, a very wise woman that lectured on sexuality, said: “When it comes to sex, wait for the yes please!” As a somewhat sexually inexperienced sophomore in University, I was wondering what that kind of consent looked like. At 27 years old and married, I now understand; yes please is uninhibited enthusiasm.…