Help! My Partner Wants Sex More/Less Than I Do

Therapist: “Do you have sex often?” Him: “Hardly ever, maybe three times a week” Her: “Constantly, I’d say three times a week” Having differing sexual appetites is completely normal in relationships, yet it can create stress and strain connection when not discussed openly. We all know how rare it is to meet someone who has all…

Are You Talking Too Much On a First Date?

For most of us, meeting someone new is a somewhat stressful experience: will they like me? Will I have something interesting to say? Will I feel included? Raise the stakes to a date and now it is: will they think I’m sexy? Can they see my flaws? Do I have something interesting to say? There…

Can “Peter Pans” Ever Grow Up?

A couple of days ago I was having a conversation with a man in his late 50s, who described himself as a “Peter Pan.” He said that he is in a relationship with a woman he adores and wants to make it work, but added that he “keeps messing things up” and she’s about had…

Can You Fall In Love With a Total Stranger?

Have you heard about the 36 increasingly intimate questions that are intended to help you fall in love? In January, Mandy Catron published her experience with the 36 questions in the New York Times, discussing whether or not there was a “road map to falling in love.” The questions were originally created in 1997 to see if it…

Yann Dall’Aglio: Anxiety, Desirability & Seduction Capital

In this 10-minute TEDx talk, French philosopher Yann Dall’Aglio discusses our need to feel valued and desired in the modern age. The talk is in French; a full transcript in English is below: 0:11 What is love? It’s a hard term to define in so far as it has a very wide application. I can love jogging. I can love…

Who Would You Be Without Sex?

Sex is something most of us feel like we need. But how far does this need go – how much does it shape our lives? Prompted by a recent conversation, I started to wonder how our lives would be different without it. Who would we be – as a society and as individuals – without…

Is Eros the Untapped Energy of Our Time?

Guest post by Veronica Monet, ACS, CAM, founder of TheShameFreeZone. This image on the left is not a family of Chimpanzees. Chimpanzees are notoriously violent. This is their closest cousin, the bonobo. And incidentally, the bonobo is also our closest genetic cousin. What makes the bonobo so special is how they use eros to create a non-violent…

Too Much Of A Good Thing? When Self-Reliance Backfires

Many of us are brought up to believe self-reliance or individuality is one of the most important personal qualities to cultivate. And it is. But there is a flip-side to having too much self-reliance that can work against people, hindering personal growth and bonding in both short-term and long-term intimate relationships. As a sex coach…

After The Honeymoon Phase

Ok, now what? Most of us have listened to stories from friends or experienced the typical arch of a sexual relationship. You start out with a burning lust and desire for the other person; it feels so good to be with them and everything they do turns you on. The sex is frequent and fulfilling.…

Desire Reboot

We recently ran across an article in the Guardian where a man asked: “I am 63, and have lost sexual attraction for my wife of 45 years. I still love her but this has been a progressive issue. I feel bad because I find other women attractive, and have battled with it since youth. I…

100 Of The Greatest Love Stories

The Loveumentary is a project started in 2012 by Nate Bagley, a young guy who wanted to work through his growing feelings of cynicism and frustration with love. He came up with an idea to find and document 100 of the greatest love stories, and with the help of friend and partner on the journey,…

Supporting New Parents

My sister just had the first baby of our family, and WOW, there is a lot to learn. One things I did notice, while people are more than happy to offer advice (mostly when not asked), they rarely ask about how she or her partner are feeling or what their experiences are. Many women experience…