Rethinking Infidelity – Is It Always Black and White?

“When we select a partner, we commit to a story. Yet we remain forever curious: What other stories could we have been part of? Affairs offer us a window into those other lives, a peek at the stranger within. Adultery is often the revenge of the deserted possibilities.” Esther Perel leaves no stone unturned in…

Misaligned Sex Drives and Desire Discrepancy

Misaligned sex drives are one of the most common struggles that couples of all ages come into my office to overcome. There are two ways misaligned sex drives, also called desire discrepancy, typically manifest: desired times of sex and frequency of sex. For instance, one person may really prefer morning sex while the other only…

Help! My Partner Wants Sex More Or Less Than I Do

Therapist: “Do you have sex often?” Him: “Hardly ever, maybe three times a week” Her: “Constantly, I’d say three times a week” Having differing sexual appetites is completely normal in relationships, yet it can create stress and strain connection when not discussed openly. We all know how rare it is to meet someone who has all…

Moving Away From the Orgasm Trap

Getting stuck chasing the orgasm is something many of us do. It seems so normal that it’s become habitual – sex doesn’t “count” unless there’s an orgasm. With all their splendor and glory, orgasms can create a few negative side effects during sex if you let them take over your night! The biggest pitfall I…

Are You Talking Too Much On a First Date?

For most of us, meeting someone new is a somewhat stressful experience: will they like me? Will I have something interesting to say? Will I feel included? Raise the stakes to a date and now it is: will they think I’m sexy? Can they see my flaws? Do I have something interesting to say? There…

What (Not) To Expect From Your Expectations

Guest post from Lady Jane Think about the people, places, and things in your life. What do you expect from them? What do you expect from your partner? Your cat? Your coffee maker? Your shower? Your phone… Are your expectations realistic, accurate, fair, obvious, or even possible? When you turn the key in the ignition…