Help! My Partner Wants Sex More/Less Than I Do

Therapist: “Do you have sex often?” Him: “Hardly ever, maybe three times a week” Her: “Constantly, I’d say three times a week” Having differing sexual appetites is completely normal in relationships, yet it can create stress and strain connection when not discussed openly. We all know how rare it is to meet someone who has all…

Moving Away From the Orgasm Trap

Getting stuck chasing the orgasm is something many of us do. It seems so normal that it’s become habitual – sex doesn’t “count” unless there’s an orgasm. With all their splendor and glory, orgasms can create a few negative side effects during sex if you let them take over your night! The biggest pitfall I…

Are You Talking Too Much On a First Date?

For most of us, meeting someone new is a somewhat stressful experience: will they like me? Will I have something interesting to say? Will I feel included? Raise the stakes to a date and now it is: will they think I’m sexy? Can they see my flaws? Do I have something interesting to say? There…

What (Not) To Expect From Your Expectations

Guest post from Lady Jane Think about the people, places, and things in your life. What do you expect from them? What do you expect from your partner? Your cat? Your coffee maker? Your shower? Your phone… Are your expectations realistic, accurate, fair, obvious, or even possible? When you turn the key in the ignition…

A Conversation on Men: Have the Tables Turned?

A couple weeks ago we chatted with T & A, the lovely ladies of Pushing Boundaries, to discuss masculinity and male sexual expression. We highlighted some research from Nikita’s new book with Phil Zimbardo, Man (Dis)connected, and Keeley offered insights from her observations as a therapist. Click here to check it out! – Keeley & Nikita

Is the World Rejecting Your Body or are You?

  Everyone has one, that is, a body that we walk around in everyday. Our bodies can give us immense pleasure and joy, and take us places – literally and metaphorically. One of my favorite things to explore with clients in session is their relationship with their own body. Something I have noticed in working…

Responses of Mass Destruction

Guest Post by Lady Jane I was having a tough conversation with my partner the other night and it left us both emotionally and physically wounded. This is not so desirable for emotional growth and bonding and isn’t how you want your conversations and interactions to conclude. We happened to be discussing intimacy, or lack…

How Many Shades Of Consent Are There?

Guest post by Lady Jane According to some of the articles I’ve read on getting and giving consent, I’m a rapist and I’ve been sexually assaulted. I would not say this is true, however, so it raises the issue of the colors and shades of language. Our definitions of consent may differ, therefore, I’m going…

Rape Is Everyone’s Problem

Several people who have read this article found it triggering, and this topic may not be appropriate for all readers. Our intent is to shed light on the sensitive topic of sexism against men and male victims of sexual assault. This topic is controversial and often goes overlooked. Here at BetterSexEd, we are committed to…

Desire Reboot

We recently ran across an article in the Guardian where a man asked: “I am 63, and have lost sexual attraction for my wife of 45 years. I still love her but this has been a progressive issue. I feel bad because I find other women attractive, and have battled with it since youth. I…

10 Things I Wish My Parents Had Told Me About Sex

Guest post from Lady Jane My therapist is quick to ask me about my childhood when addressing my issues as an adult. Sure, it would be easy to point the finger at Mom and Dad for screwing us all up big time, but let’s not be too quick to harshly judge our upbringing. While sitting…

Asking For What You Want In Relationships

Many people in relationships twist and contort themselves around their partner and forget about the things that they want. Often this happens right in the beginning of a relationship, called the merging phase. Once the merging phase ends, the things you want that are different from your partner begin to show up more frequently. Asking…

Having The STD Talk With A New Partner

We know that talking with a potential partner about getting tested for STDs – or telling them you already have an STD – can be scary and feel like a major arousal kill. Even though it is awkward, open communication about STDs is crucial for relationship success! Talking to your friends about your current situation,…

Parents – When Your Teen Is Sexually Active

As a follow-up to our other post on talking to your teen about sex, we wanted to offer some advice to parents about how to talk with their teen who already is sexually active or is contemplating becoming sexually active in the near future. So many teens are sexually active – 7 out of 10…

First Date – Disarm Your Date With These Fun Questions

Below is a list of some questions and their (supposed) meanings that are intended to help you learn more about your date when you’re going out together for the first time. Of course, these questions are only one piece of the puzzle, but in my experience, they’ve always led to interesting conversations. – Nikita Starter…

STD Scare – You’re Not Alone

Most of us have had an STD scare at least once in our lives. This very realistic and hilariously short video, Blessing in Disguise, highlights how stigmatized herpes (particularly HSV-II, or genital herpes) is in our culture. A close friend of mine loves to tell the story about his good friend from Europe who was…