Reintroduction – A Sexual Encounter

One of our readers who would like to go by the name of Rudolph Valentino sent us this sexy story. Enjoy!   When I first met her she was a Doctor finishing her fourth year of residency, and me… I just worked there. I thought she was gorgeous. Attractive, petite, short, with glasses… fuck… I…

Help! My Partner Wants Sex More/Less Than I Do

Therapist: “Do you have sex often?” Him: “Hardly ever, maybe three times a week” Her: “Constantly, I’d say three times a week” Having differing sexual appetites is completely normal in relationships, yet it can create stress and strain connection when not discussed openly. We all know how rare it is to meet someone who has all…

Fantasy vs. Reality: Which is Better?

Fantasy and using our imaginations is a natural part of being human. We have the ability to fantasize about so many things – especially sexual things. Everyone has had a sexual fantasy. Whether it is about someone sweeping you off your feet (romantic), unexpectedly meeting a sexy stranger and going right at it (no-strings-attached passion),…

How Sexual Fantasies Can Explain Your Emotional Needs

In this post I’m going to discuss a new way to think about sexual fantasies; a way to frame them in your mind in order to discover what emotional needs are most important to you as well as what needs have yet to be fulfilled. Often times, fantasies are described as situations that a person desires…

Desire Reboot

We recently ran across an article in the Guardian where a man asked: “I am 63, and have lost sexual attraction for my wife of 45 years. I still love her but this has been a progressive issue. I feel bad because I find other women attractive, and have battled with it since youth. I…

What’s Your Core Erotic Theme?

Image © Ellen Von Unwerth, view more of her fabulous photos here We’ve mentioned the core erotic theme in other posts. But what is it, really? And more importantly, how could it improve your sex life? In his book, The Erotic Mind, Jack Morin outlines eroticism as: The interplay of sexual arousal with the challenges…

Sex 101 – A Girl’s Guide To 21st Century Sex

I am surprised a documentary like A Girl’s Guide To 21st Century Sex was made – and for public television! Hosted by sexual health expert Dr. Catherine Hood, this 8 part series explores everything from orgasms, sexual orientations, sex positions, pregnant sex, obese sex, how to’s, STIs, ejaculation (male and female), the effects of illegal…

Asking For What You Want In Relationships

Many people in relationships twist and contort themselves around their partner and forget about the things that they want. Often this happens right in the beginning of a relationship, called the merging phase. Once the merging phase ends, the things you want that are different from your partner begin to show up more frequently. Asking…

Al Vernacchio Asks – What’s Your Sexual Footprint?

It’s interesting to consider the “ripple effect” our actions and attitudes have, especially when it comes to sex. What is a sexual footprint? Al Vernacchio, a sex education teacher at Friends’ Central, a private Quaker school just outside Philadelphia, says it’s the path that is created by the decisions we make and the actions we take regarding our sexual selves.…

Female Chauvinist Pigs

Image © Glamour “What a woman was criticized for doing yesterday she is ridiculed for not doing today.” – Edith Wharton, 1915 Alfred Hitchcock’s films often made us wonder who has more power, the person doing the gazing or the person being gazed upon. Modern expressions of sexuality make many wonder the same thing. In her book, Female Chauvinist Pigs, Ariel…

Sex Talk – Talking To Your Teenager About Sex

Image © Phil Spratt As the cartoon above illustrates, because of technology young people are more exposed to sex than ever before. But are they more knowledgeable? Yes and no. While teenagers are watching lots of porn, they are receiving few alternative perspectives about what a consensual, constructive and fulfilling sexual relationship looks like. Whether…

BDSM Basics – A Beginner’s Guide

We are hierarchical animals. Sweep one hierarchy away, and another will take its place, perhaps less palatable than the first. There are hierarchies in nature and alternate hierarchies in society. In nature, brute force is the law, a survival of the fittest. In society, there are protections for the weak. Society is our frail barrier…

Mating in Captivity – How to Balance Desire and Love

In her TED talk above, Esther Perel argues good and committed sex draws on two conflicting needs: our need for security and our need for surprise. In her book, Mating in Captivity, she discusses when we are most drawn to our partners and why, our turn-ons and offs, balancing love and desire, reconciling domesticity and sensuality, and how to give…

Couple’s Communication Video Series – Sexual Healing

Sexual Healing, a 2006 reality TV show featuring Chicago-based sex therapist Dr. Laura Berman offering advice and activities for a variety of couples as they navigate intimacy issues. Sometimes it just takes an outside perspective to get to the heart of concerns, and help couple get out of their funk, and Dr. Berman does this…