The Key Ingredient for Relationship Success: Reciprocity

Guest post by Ty Lamarr, check out Ty’s blog, Inside the Mind of Ty Lamarr, here Relationships require Reciprocity…If…you should find yourself entering into a relationship based off of how the relationship will benefit YOU…without considering how you will be of benefit to the other person…you may find that…your relationship will struggle. This is a concept…

Help! My Partner Wants Sex More/Less Than I Do

Therapist: “Do you have sex often?” Him: “Hardly ever, maybe three times a week” Her: “Constantly, I’d say three times a week” Having differing sexual appetites is completely normal in relationships, yet it can create stress and strain connection when not discussed openly. We all know how rare it is to meet someone who has all…

Moving Away From the Orgasm Trap

Getting stuck chasing the orgasm is something many of us do. It seems so normal that it’s become habitual – sex doesn’t “count” unless there’s an orgasm. With all their splendor and glory, orgasms can create a few negative side effects during sex if you let them take over your night! The biggest pitfall I…

Are You Talking Too Much On a First Date?

For most of us, meeting someone new is a somewhat stressful experience: will they like me? Will I have something interesting to say? Will I feel included? Raise the stakes to a date and now it is: will they think I’m sexy? Can they see my flaws? Do I have something interesting to say? There…

Overstimulation From Porn Disrupts Pair-bonding

Guest post by Marnia Robinson, author of Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow: From Habit to Harmony in Sexual Relationships In recent years, scientists have been studying a fascinating mammal in greater depth: the prairie vole. There are many closely related vole species, but some species mate for life while others don’t form pair bonds at all (like…

Can You Fall In Love With a Total Stranger?

Have you heard about the 36 increasingly intimate questions that are intended to help you fall in love? In January, Mandy Catron published her experience with the 36 questions in the New York Times, discussing whether or not there was a “road map to falling in love.” The questions were originally created in 1997 to see if it…

10 Ways to Become a More Connected and Loving Partner

Inspired by the idea of mutual care-taking, below are ten ways to better understand and connect with your partner: Build and maintain trust; stay in touch mentally. During “sliding door moments,” where you have the option to either have a conversation and resolve an issue with your partner, or distract yourself with the TV, a book,…

Yann Dall’Aglio: Anxiety, Desirability & Seduction Capital

In this 10-minute TEDx talk, French philosopher Yann Dall’Aglio discusses our need to feel valued and desired in the modern age. The talk is in French; a full transcript in English is below: 0:11 What is love? It’s a hard term to define in so far as it has a very wide application. I can love jogging. I can love…

Michele Weiner-Davis: The Sex Starved Marriage & What To Do About It

In this TEDx talk below, Michele Weiner-Davis, marriage therapist and author of The Sex Starved Marriage: Boosting Your Marriage Libido: A Couple’s Guide, talks about how to get back to a loving and lasting long-term relationship: We liked her statement: “Healthy relationships are built on mutual care-taking.” When we think about how decisions are made in…

A Conversation on Men: Have the Tables Turned?

A couple weeks ago we chatted with T & A, the lovely ladies of Pushing Boundaries, to discuss masculinity and male sexual expression. We highlighted some research from Nikita’s new book with Phil Zimbardo, Man (Dis)connected, and Keeley offered insights from her observations as a therapist. Click here to check it out! – Keeley & Nikita

5 Ways To Take Your Sex Life To The Next Level

Guest post by Veronica Monet, ACS, CAM, founder of TheShameFreeZone. No matter how awesome the sex you are currently having, there is the possibility for more. But more what? As a sexologist and sex educator, a lot of people want me to help them improve their sex lives. Many of those people imagine that I will…

Too Much Of A Good Thing? When Self-Reliance Backfires

Many of us are brought up to believe self-reliance or individuality is one of the most important personal qualities to cultivate. And it is. But there is a flip-side to having too much self-reliance that can work against people, hindering personal growth and bonding in both short-term and long-term intimate relationships. As a sex coach…

Embracing A Partner’s Kink

Guest post by Lady Jane What is normal? And who gets to determine what that means? I’ve lived most of my adult life in denial about my sexuality. Even as a teenager, I had a higher than average sex drive and felt embarrassed, ashamed, and afraid to talk about it. I was too nervous about…

Sex Talk – Talking To Your Teenager About Sex

Image © Phil Spratt As the cartoon above illustrates, because of technology young people are more exposed to sex than ever before. But are they more knowledgeable? Yes and no. While teenagers are watching lots of porn, they are receiving few alternative perspectives about what a consensual, constructive and fulfilling sexual relationship looks like. Whether…

Madonna Whore Complex

We see sex everywhere, so why is it so hard to talk about? Is being crude — thus lowbrow and easily dismissible — the only way to make it acceptable? A lot of men in America have developed a Madonna Whore Complex in part because of this strange divergence. Described as love without sex and…

Couple’s Communication Video Series – Sexual Healing

Sexual Healing, a 2006 reality TV show featuring Chicago-based sex therapist Dr. Laura Berman offering advice and activities for a variety of couples as they navigate intimacy issues. Sometimes it just takes an outside perspective to get to the heart of concerns, and help couple get out of their funk, and Dr. Berman does this…