Moving Away From the Orgasm Trap

Getting stuck chasing the orgasm is something many of us do. It seems so normal that it’s become habitual – sex doesn’t “count” unless there’s an orgasm. With all their splendor and glory, orgasms can create a few negative side effects during sex if you let them take over your night! The biggest pitfall I…

Is Being Judgmental Ruining Your Relationship?

Over the last six months I have been challenging myself to learn how to be less judgemental. I kept catching myself judging others in a harsh way. I remember asking myself, “would I treat a client who came to my office like this?” The answer was a clear no, so I decided to try to…

What Do You See in the Mirror?

When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Take a moment to become aware of all the thoughts and feelings that come up for you. November 19 is International Men’s Day; right now society likes to demonize men, thus many men hold shame simply for being male. We’d like to celebrate men as men,…

Who Would You Be Without Sex?

Sex is something most of us feel like we need. But how far does this need go – how much does it shape our lives? Prompted by a recent conversation, I started to wonder how our lives would be different without it. Who would we be – as a society and as individuals – without…

The Power of Compliments

“I can live for two months on a good compliment.” – Mark Twain Complimenting someone else is one of my favorite things to do. If I see something I like about a person, I just say it right then and there. Even the people that have a hard time taking compliments love when someone notices…

5 Ways To Take Your Sex Life To The Next Level

Guest post by Veronica Monet, ACS, CAM, founder of TheShameFreeZone. No matter how awesome the sex you are currently having, there is the possibility for more. But more what? As a sexologist and sex educator, a lot of people want me to help them improve their sex lives. Many of those people imagine that I will…

What’s Your Core Erotic Theme?

Image © Ellen Von Unwerth, view more of her fabulous photos here We’ve mentioned the core erotic theme in other posts. But what is it, really? And more importantly, how could it improve your sex life? In his book, The Erotic Mind, Jack Morin outlines eroticism as: The interplay of sexual arousal with the challenges…

The Arousal Curve

When we use the term arousal curve, we are speaking to where you are in terms of feeling turned on. No two people have the same arousal curve, it is different for every person. The curve is a scale from 1- 10. 1 is very little arousal, 9 is the point of no return (orgasm).…

Body Image Mindfulness

Exploring human sexuality inevitably leads to a discussion around body image. We need and want our bodies to feel pleasure, yet we judge, shame, think and say awful things about them. So many of the images we see in the media are doctored beyond belief, and we all feel the pressure to look “perfect” (if…

Awkward Sex – Enjoying the Ups and Downs

We have all experienced the awkward moment during sex. You move to take your shirt off, or your pants or your body makes a funny noise that no one was planning on. We don’t normally mention these moments, we move as quickly past them almost pretending they didn’t happen. Still, they happen. At one point…