How the Word “Should” is Killing Your Sex Life

You should be like this. You should do that. If you want a healthy sexy life you should try this with your partner. There are “should’s” any direction you turn these days. People, other people, who you have not met, are telling you how you should act. In graduate school, I heard the phrase, “shoulding…

Are There Benefits to Withholding Ejaculation During Orgasm?

A man recently wrote in and asked this question: what are your thoughts on male orgasm and Eastern/tantric practices which advise against physical orgasm (but might be favorable towards energetic orgasm)? I’m asking as I’m curious about how holding back on orgasm influences the male body/psyche. I’ve been always been a guy who ejaculates frequently,…

Legal Issues Around Sexting

Sexting can be fun, but you might unwittingly break some laws you didn’t know about. For example, a lot of teens under 18 years old don’t realize that the sexy photos they have of their sweetheart could, in a court of law, be considered possession of child porn or distribution of child porn (if they…

Teaching Kids About Consent: Having The Other “Talk”

Guest post from Lady Jane Conversations about consent are all the rage these days, as well they should be. In a culture where assault, boundary breaking, and unwanted physical contact are prominent, what better place to start combating this issue than with beginning the conversation with our children. It’s true, giving kids too much information…

Sex 101 – A Girl’s Guide To 21st Century Sex

I am surprised a documentary like A Girl’s Guide To 21st Century Sex was made – and for public television! Hosted by sexual health expert Dr. Catherine Hood, this 8 part series explores everything from orgasms, sexual orientations, sex positions, pregnant sex, obese sex, how to’s, STIs, ejaculation (male and female), the effects of illegal…

20 Questions To Ask At The Beginning Of A Relationship

So much heartache and resentment can be avoided when important questions get asked at the beginning of a relationship. You feel a lot more confident in your relationship when you know whether you have the same values and long-term goals as the person you are interested in. By no means are these questions meant to…

Non-Monogamy: Most Common Questions & Answers

Guest post from Lady Jane Based on my other articles, you may have been given the impression that non-monogamy is a huge, sexy free-for-all with no regard for health risks or other relationships. My bad. Since this isn’t the case, I’d like to answer some of the more common questions that everyone wants to ask,…

Is Uncircumcised Weird?

I was at a party last week and a friend of mine proclaimed rather loudly, “I would never be with someone who is uncircumcised!” I am very rarely shocked, although I have to say, I was quite surprised that one of my friends was clearly uneducated around this topic. Me, being the curious sex therapist…

Kinsey Confidential Answers Your Sex Questions

The Kinsey Institute has a site called Kinsey Confidential, which is a sort of clearing house for their research about sexual health. One aspect of their site we enjoy is their podcast, which is updated every week. It is a great place for people to ask questions anonymously. – Keeley & Nikita

Laci Green – Sex Education Basics

Laci Green is a sex positive vlogger and peer sex educator. We love her popular YouTube channel, and would recommend it for the younger and less experienced crowd, or anyone that has a lot of questions and doesn’t know where to start. Below are a couple of her videos, to give you an idea: 5 most…

Sex Talk – Talking To Your Teenager About Sex

Image © Phil Spratt As the cartoon above illustrates, because of technology young people are more exposed to sex than ever before. But are they more knowledgeable? Yes and no. While teenagers are watching lots of porn, they are receiving few alternative perspectives about what a consensual, constructive and fulfilling sexual relationship looks like. Whether…

First Date – Disarm Your Date With These Fun Questions

Below is a list of some questions and their (supposed) meanings that are intended to help you learn more about your date when you’re going out together for the first time. Of course, these questions are only one piece of the puzzle, but in my experience, they’ve always led to interesting conversations. – Nikita Starter…

Sexual Fantasies – A Beginner’s Guide

Fantasy. We are all familiar with fantasy on one level or another, even if we are not aware of it. Most of us are familiar with fairy tales and Disney movies. Take Cinderella; you have a young girl living beneath her evil step sisters who eventually gets rescued by a handsome prince to live happily…

BDSM Basics – A Beginner’s Guide

We are hierarchical animals. Sweep one hierarchy away, and another will take its place, perhaps less palatable than the first. There are hierarchies in nature and alternate hierarchies in society. In nature, brute force is the law, a survival of the fittest. In society, there are protections for the weak. Society is our frail barrier…