What (Not) To Expect From Your Expectations

Guest post from Lady Jane Think about the people, places, and things in your life. What do you expect from them? What do you expect from your partner? Your cat? Your coffee maker? Your shower? Your phone… Are your expectations realistic, accurate, fair, obvious, or even possible? When you turn the key in the ignition…

Can “Peter Pans” Ever Grow Up?

A couple of days ago I was having a conversation with a man in his late 50s, who described himself as a “Peter Pan.” He said that he is in a relationship with a woman he adores and wants to make it work, but added that he “keeps messing things up” and she’s about had…

Fantasy vs. Reality: Which is Better?

Fantasy and using our imaginations is a natural part of being human. We have the ability to fantasize about so many things – especially sexual things. Everyone has had a sexual fantasy. Whether it is about someone sweeping you off your feet (romantic), unexpectedly meeting a sexy stranger and going right at it (no-strings-attached passion),…

Who Would You Be Without Sex?

Sex is something most of us feel like we need. But how far does this need go – how much does it shape our lives? Prompted by a recent conversation, I started to wonder how our lives would be different without it. Who would we be – as a society and as individuals – without…

Making Relationships Work: 4-part Series From Dr. John Gottman

In this 4-part video series, Dr. John Gottman discusses relationship patterns (and their effects) that he observed over 35 years of research. Part 1:  Highlights: – Dr. Gottman explains how he and Bob Levinson (visually) observed and measured people’s physiological responses to different kinds of interactions with their partner. They wanted to pick up on any patterns in successful…

Too Much Of A Good Thing? When Self-Reliance Backfires

Many of us are brought up to believe self-reliance or individuality is one of the most important personal qualities to cultivate. And it is. But there is a flip-side to having too much self-reliance that can work against people, hindering personal growth and bonding in both short-term and long-term intimate relationships. As a sex coach…