All About Penis Size – BetterSexEd Episode 1

Are you curious what experts say about penis size? In our first YouTube episode, we discuss openly how much penis size matters during sex, to women, and to men. This common question often goes unanswered but in our video, you will finally have the answers to commonly asked questions, including, “do women care how large…

Misaligned Sex Drives and Desire Discrepancy

Misaligned sex drives are one of the most common struggles that couples of all ages come into my office to overcome. There are two ways misaligned sex drives, also called desire discrepancy, typically manifest: desired times of sex and frequency of sex. For instance, one person may really prefer morning sex while the other only…

Premature Ejaculation – Learn How To Achieve Ejaculation Control

One in three men report being affected by premature ejaculation. Despite ejaculation control being such a common issue, many men feel as though there are no good resources available to help them. The most common medical treatment from a doctor for premature ejaculation is prescribing an antidepressant because one of the side effects of antidepressants…

Help! My Partner Wants Sex More/Less Than I Do

Therapist: “Do you have sex often?” Him: “Hardly ever, maybe three times a week” Her: “Constantly, I’d say three times a week” Having differing sexual appetites is completely normal in relationships, yet it can create stress and strain connection when not discussed openly. We all know how rare it is to meet someone who has all…

Moving Away From the Orgasm Trap

Getting stuck chasing the orgasm is something many of us do. It seems so normal that it’s become habitual – sex doesn’t “count” unless there’s an orgasm. With all their splendor and glory, orgasms can create a few negative side effects during sex if you let them take over your night! The biggest pitfall I…

Is Being Judgmental Ruining Your Relationship?

Over the last six months I have been challenging myself to learn how to be less judgemental. I kept catching myself judging others in a harsh way. I remember asking myself, “would I treat a client who came to my office like this?” The answer was a clear no, so I decided to try to…

Fantasy vs. Reality: Which is Better?

Fantasy and using our imaginations is a natural part of being human. We have the ability to fantasize about so many things – especially sexual things. Everyone has had a sexual fantasy. Whether it is about someone sweeping you off your feet (romantic), unexpectedly meeting a sexy stranger and going right at it (no-strings-attached passion),…

The Elusive Female Orgasm

Keeley’s Orgasm by Nikita Coulombe I have always had an interest in sex; either in being sexual or feeling a sexy energetic connection with people. From a pretty young age I liked to experiment. When people who knew me as a teenager found out that I became a sex coach, it was certainly no surprise.…

A Conversation on Men: Have the Tables Turned?

A couple weeks ago we chatted with T & A, the lovely ladies of Pushing Boundaries, to discuss masculinity and male sexual expression. We highlighted some research from Nikita’s new book with Phil Zimbardo, Man (Dis)connected, and Keeley offered insights from her observations as a therapist. Click here to check it out! – Keeley & Nikita

Amazing Lovers are Made, Not Born

Even Don Juan had to become Don Juan Amazing lovers are made, not born. The reality is, amazing lovers are not automatically born into amazing lover status. Someone taught them how to touch, kiss, lick, grab, and hold. Every day I have conversations with people; clients and friends alike that are concerned about their performance…

The Power of Compliments

“I can live for two months on a good compliment.” – Mark Twain Complimenting someone else is one of my favorite things to do. If I see something I like about a person, I just say it right then and there. Even the people that have a hard time taking compliments love when someone notices…

Let’s Rebrand Foreplay

Let’s do it! Right here, right now, let’s forever change what we refer to as “foreplay” to something else. Let re-brand foreplay to more accurately represent the sex acts for what they are. First off, it’s all play. Sex is, at its finest, adult play. It is how us adults have a good time, let…

To Flirt Or To Fuck?

When I was asked to present at the event, Master the F Word: Flirting, my first thought was “What do I do when I flirt with someone?” The answer was simple: I imagine myself fucking them. From this idea, I ran an experiential with the group, giving participants instructions to talk to the person in…

Teaching Kids About Consent: Having The Other “Talk”

Guest post from Lady Jane Conversations about consent are all the rage these days, as well they should be. In a culture where assault, boundary breaking, and unwanted physical contact are prominent, what better place to start combating this issue than with beginning the conversation with our children. It’s true, giving kids too much information…

Get In Your Body First Thing In The Morning

Don’t wait till sex shows up to find pleasure in your day. You can be in your pleasure all day. One way to do this is to get into your body and find your pleasure first thing in the morning. One thing that I love and have found incredibly useful to find and connect with…

Nice Guys Don’t Finish Last When They Speak Up

I hear it quite a bit in my practice, “He is really nice, I like talking to him, but I don’t want to fuck him.” How do you find the balance between being a nice person, and being a fuckable person; how do you cross the bridge from being someone women are not interested in…

Ladies: Sexy Must Haves

Marilyn Monroe by Frederick M. Brown Last week, I went out wearing my little black dress that I love so much. As I was riding in the car on the way to dinner, I got to thinking about how sexy I felt. There are things in my life that I like to have, wear, and…

The Benefits Of Deep Breathing During Sex

I encourage almost all of my clients to breathe more deeply. This video shows us how the body responds to breath; the more active and full the breath, the more movement and circulation in the body. Your body can prosper from deep breathing during your everyday functioning, such as release of toxins, improved digestion, and strengthened lung…

It’s Here Again. Bikini Season.

It’s here again. Bikini season. I’ve been thinking: I do not have any women friends who have not talked with me at some point about body image struggles (this issue also affects men, but for this article, we are going to focus on the female body image struggle). Every single one of my female friends,…

Too Much Of A Good Thing? When Self-Reliance Backfires

Many of us are brought up to believe self-reliance or individuality is one of the most important personal qualities to cultivate. And it is. But there is a flip-side to having too much self-reliance that can work against people, hindering personal growth and bonding in both short-term and long-term intimate relationships. As a sex coach…

Rope, Bondage, & Dominance Classes From Midori

Midori, 2013 Best Sex Educator winner of SF Weekly, is a sexuality educator, artist, and author that teaches practical classes on the art of rope tying, bondage, and dominance. She travels around the world teaching; her upcoming schedule includes classes in Boston, New York City, Washington D.C., Houston, San Francisco, and London. You can also see…

After The Honeymoon Phase

Ok, now what? Most of us have listened to stories from friends or experienced the typical arch of a sexual relationship. You start out with a burning lust and desire for the other person; it feels so good to be with them and everything they do turns you on. The sex is frequent and fulfilling.…

Desire Reboot

We recently ran across an article in the Guardian where a man asked: “I am 63, and have lost sexual attraction for my wife of 45 years. I still love her but this has been a progressive issue. I feel bad because I find other women attractive, and have battled with it since youth. I…

What’s Your Core Erotic Theme?

Image © Ellen Von Unwerth, view more of her fabulous photos here We’ve mentioned the core erotic theme in other posts. But what is it, really? And more importantly, how could it improve your sex life? In his book, The Erotic Mind, Jack Morin outlines eroticism as: The interplay of sexual arousal with the challenges…

What To Expect On Your First Trip To A Sex Shop

Going to a sex shop for the first time can be nerve-racking! Everyone’s experience will be different, but most people have at least a little apprehension – usually there’s a fear you’ll see someone you know or you’ll feel a bit foolish asking questions. Some people might feel very adult-like while others might feel the…