How the Word “Should” is Killing Your Sex Life

You should be like this. You should do that. If you want a healthy sexy life you should try this with your partner. There are “should’s” any direction you turn these days. People, other people, who you have not met, are telling you how you should act. In graduate school, I heard the phrase, “shoulding…

Why Everyone Wins When Women Ask Out Men

The other day Keeley and I were having a conversation about how effective it is when women ask men out on a date. Why do so many men seem to shy away or not return phone calls or texts when women ask them out? When we thought back on our own personal situations and other…

Too Much Of A Good Thing? When Self-Reliance Backfires

Many of us are brought up to believe self-reliance or individuality is one of the most important personal qualities to cultivate. And it is. But there is a flip-side to having too much self-reliance that can work against people, hindering personal growth and bonding in both short-term and long-term intimate relationships. As a sex coach…

How Many Shades Of Consent Are There?

Guest post by Lady Jane According to some of the articles I’ve read on getting and giving consent, I’m a rapist and I’ve been sexually assaulted. I would not say this is true, however, so it raises the issue of the colors and shades of language. Our definitions of consent may differ, therefore, I’m going…

Female Chauvinist Pigs

Image © Glamour “What a woman was criticized for doing yesterday she is ridiculed for not doing today.” – Edith Wharton, 1915 Alfred Hitchcock’s films often made us wonder who has more power, the person doing the gazing or the person being gazed upon. Modern expressions of sexuality make many wonder the same thing. In her book, Female Chauvinist Pigs, Ariel…